What If…

What if… the visiting drifter of heavy emotion we call depression is a series of tiny hurts? Each tiny hurt is a feather-light piece of yarn on its own, but all bound together they create a spool. These miniature betrayals, are strewn together one after one. We deny their existence and inherent necessity to grieve. But, brought into consciousness - often in trespass and all at once - they are felt as a cascading of a tumult into darkness.

These seemingly gone incompletions bind together to create one long thread. Left ignored and unattended, they create a disorganized, confused entanglement in the subtle body. What if this entanglement is a representation of the collision of all the stones we threw? The time she failed to show? The diamonds that stayed black? That moment he left. Every time you screamed but it was sorely muffled by a paper cup? The backs turned on you with the weight of an army? The book that came unbound, pages flying mercilessly in the wind?

The minute misattunements, the little misunderstandings, the lack of communication, the withholding of information, the denial of repair. They all add up…one by one and burden our hearts with heaviness.

We only give credence to the big violations almost as if it is a prerequisite paired with visible bruises to be given permission to be tended to.

But, what if in turning back time, there was a person who you were able to fall into for safety? Someone who would just sit by your side for as long as you needed? What if that person had enough capacity to be in vulnerability with her own emotions to the extent that she was content to just breathe with you while you heaved and shook and the ocean of your tears illuminated the skin that covered your heart?

Our culture says it desires depth but in the face of it, quickly turns to the reel of imposter images manufactured on the screen. The moment depth beckons, our culture pivots against it and becomes entranced in leaning towards the imitation of light.

In my private practice, I’m rarely (if ever) working with the big traumas. It’s the small wounds that we volley with back and forth. Clients are nearly always surprised at the depth of emotion and extent of grief connected to these tiny hurts. It’s always over-coupled with another not showing up, not listening, walking away, turning of back, or dismissing our felt experience.

We are desperately seeking community that can digest and assimilate the deep and dark contents of life. Where do we find such community that is grounded in empirical philosophy? One that can speak to answers borne from the heart space as opposed to a dedication of dogma borne of protective ego?

A while back, someone told me that I’m doing the “Now what work.” I don’t remember what genius coined this, but I hold it in honour. It speaks clearly to the work we present in Architecture of humanity.

Our society attempts to understand the Self, so we read, we memorize and we diagnose ourselves. This is the point at which most of us get stuck, still being haunted by those tiny hurts yearning to see the light. This is the impasse and chasm of mind and body. It is the juncture where somatic work must come in to quell the stories and unfurl the sensory experiences held in the body.

So, how do we go from knowing to flowing? In Architecture of Humanity, we have created a protocol to assist with this next development of growth to move beyond spiritual purgatory: a stage that many become stuck in.

We begin by knowing our Self on one of the deepest levels accessible in the material world: existence. How do we know we exist? How do we know we’re known? In AoH, we start with knowing our primitive biology. This is the psychobiological approach. Only from here can we understand and be in relationship with our unconscious impulses and unmet needs. We learn our Self first so that we can understand the Others. This allows us to support others in community.

If this protocol resonates with you, please consider signing up for our email list to be notified of future events and gatherings. We are currently organizing multiple forms of community from extensive learning workshops to online groups and education.

All events include: ceremony and ritual, learning and growth, community-building and somatic integration.

Listed below are our upcoming events:

- Sisters of the Forest. A monthly women’s gathering: Saturday, August 27, 10:00-3:00

- Gong Meditation Soundbath: Saturday, September 10, 5:30-8:30

- Primal Partnering: A deep dive into learning the Self to be in healthy relationship with others. 5-module workshop begins September 12. 5 Mondays 5:30-7:30

-Brothers of the Woods. A men’s gathering. First meeting: Sunday, October 2. 10:00-3:00.